A letter to my 18-year-old self.

So it is a month before my 24^th birthday and I have been reflecting on my past quite a bit. 

Why?  Maybe it’s because moving halfway across the country makes you lose yourself a bit in the unfamiliarity so you find yourself digging deep into memories to hold onto anything familiar.

It could also be that, hey, a lot has happened this past year and sometimes it’s cool to look back see how much God has done! 

Aside from my 24^th birthday on January 9^th, our first wedding anniversary is coming up on January 10^th and that’s sort of a big deal!

All of that to say, I am astounded at how much I have blossomed and changed over the years. Particularly from the time I was 18… that is when things really began to look up. I know that hindsight is always 20/20 and that many times the best way to learn is through mistakes, but there is SO much I wish I could tell my 18-year-old self to prevent some major heartache and to encourage her. Of course, I’m barely 24 and I have sooo much more to learn so when I’m 30, I’ll write another letter :) 

Here it goes…

Dear 18-year-old Me, 

I will start on a positive note: life does get better for you! And it will very soon.

Please believe me when I say, there is a solution, a remedy, for the hole you feel inside yourself.

No, the solution isn’t a boy. In fact, you have terrible taste in men. I’m sorry, BOYS not men.

Just because he texts you every day doesn’t mean he really loves you. You read into his texts way too much. Boys will say anything to get what they really want. Yes, that is all he wants… Dad was right. On that note, please don’t go over to his house alone. Remember when you would get mad at Dad for not letting you go to his house alone? Yes, I know you are rebelling against Dad now but, trust me, nothing good happens when do. You will be left with a bigger hole. 

Also, it is unfortunate that you turned so many good guys down. They were nice guys. They were men, not boys. And you just thought they were all too boring. You’ll deeply regret breaking all of those hearts later in life. Don’t worry, another good one will come along and you will finally have your head on straight when that time comes. 

Speaking of heartbreaks, you will be hurt by some mean girls and their poor insecure, miserable selves. Please know this: it’s not you, it’s them. They will spread some pretty nasty rumors about you. I know it hurts, but they are hurting more, that is why they enjoy watching you hurt. Misery loves company I guess. But please, don’t hate them and don’t grow bitter. They have some serious issues going on in their personal lives, you will discover that in a couple of years, and then you will understand. For now, please pray for them and forgive relentlessly. You will be better off that way. 

Also, I know life at home is really rough. You and Mom don't like each other and she and Dad fight too much. It will pass.They will finally get a divorce and it will be really painful. All of the skeletons will come out of the closet and that will be painful too. Please know that it is possible to have a happy and healthy marriage. It really is, I promise. The cycle can broken.

How many times did you look in the mirror today and over-analyze yourself? Don’t do that anymore. You are built differently than other girls. And that’s okay. Please start eating more protein. Your body is weak and you are exhausted. Give yourself a break. You aren’t fat. And even if you were, that would not affect your worth one bit. Now go eat a cookie. 

I know you are obsessed with running but believe me when I say, you will get over that obsession. No, you will never make the Olympics, and that’s okay too. You hate that your parents pressure you in running and that your hometown just sees you as the cross-country super star. It really kills you. Don’t worry, it will pass. You’ll move on and you will realize how much more to life there is. 

Oh and PLEASE, PLEASE, stop coloring your hair. Your natural color is actually quite nice. You will grow to like it. As of now, you’ve been frying it with bleach and dye and flat irons. It is doing tremendous damage and it will take a while to repair on its own. Warning: your hairdresser will accidentally dye your hair black the day before the senior picnic. Just sayin’, it might be best to wear a hood that day.

Umm, also, I know you have recently received a running scholarship to go to college, but I have some advice. Please get an internship and get involved on campus sooner than your senior year. When you go in for interviews after graduation, no one will really care that you ran your butt off to pay for college. Some will, but most won’t. They will want to know what your work experience is. It’s really sad actually; I still think it’s unfair. But that’s just how it works! Either way, you’ll get through it and God will provide.   

Next, and most importantly, there is a God and he loves you more than you know. There is nothing YOU can do to make him love you more. That hole you have can be filled with a love and peace that surpasses all understanding. You will soon come to know God very intimately through his Son, Jesus Christ. I know that sounds weird and stupid to you right now, but this Truth will change your life forever. Trust me, this Jesus… he is more than a teacher, example, or historical figure. He is your only hope in this life and the next. You can stop trying so hard now. You can’t earn your salvation. But he can, and he did. He did it for you… on the cross. In fact, when you finally understand this, your heart will be so impacted and changed by his grace, you will have no option but to respond with gratitude. He will change your life profoundly.

Lastly, there is a man for you. His name is Eric. You’ll meet him at church (I know, CHURCH… you can’t believe it now) He will love you more than those stupid boys you’ve obsessed over. In fact, he will be the second best thing that will ever happen to you. He will be a true partner, loving you truly and selflessly. He will actually know your favorite songs, movies, and be able to finish your sentences for you. He will value you more than any guy you’ve ever known, only wanting the best for you and not once pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do. He will value purity and the sanctity of marriage (I know you thought guys like that didn’t exist). You will fall in love and he will ask your father for your hand in marriage. You two will marry at the ripe age of 22 & 23. Yes, you will get married before you’re 35 believe it or not. Oh, and you will move to Oklahoma with him. “OKLAHOMA?! EW!” Trust me, you’ll love that place more than you think you will.

For now, please know that regardless of your stupid mistakes, ugly heartaches, and lack of experience, you will get through this. There’s a light waiting for you. God will escort you there… and then, before you know it, YOU will be ME sitting here writing this to you, marveling at HIS beautiful plan and providence. He is good. All of the time.   

xoxo. 

 Love, the almost-24-year-old You. 

Aunt Flow Finally Stopped By After Years Without Her...

Oh boy, I bet you already know what the title is referring to...
Prepare yourself for some TMI...

I FINALLY GOT MY PERIOD.

Yes. That's right. My first natural, not hormone induced, no birth-control pill, totally real period.

I've been waiting 4 years for this!! 2.5 of those years I was on the pill which obviously makes you have a period.

Many of you read my eating disorder story and how I was left without a menstrual cycle and put on the pill. I was warned that I may never have my fertility back. I was on the pill for a while and decided to stop for my own health.

When I finally mustered up enough courage to get off hormonal birth control pills, I worried A LOT about whether or not I would get a real cycle back. I had heard horror stories of women not getting their periods back for up to a year after quitting the pill! Uhh no way... I was not excited about that.

Not getting my period meant that my estrogen and progesterone levels were out of wack and, in turn, my acne, stomach problems, and a whole host of other issues would return. I did NOT want that to happen. And to be honest, I really just wanted to know that I could ovulate. No ovulation = infertility.

BUT things turned out much better than expected. After a month and a half off the pill and no period... I woke up last Saturday morning and... HELLO Aunt Flow!

I pretty much danced around the house. The fact that I have my cycle back means:

1) I ovulated. That's right... I can most likely have children. Woot woot! (not anytime soon friends)

2) My happy hormones explains why the acne has not returned! I've always gotten a pimple or two here and there but when my hormones were screwed up from overexercising, the acne was unbearable. So thankful I've not experienced that.

3) Happy, balanced hormones = Happy, balanced Chelsey. I have clarity and am happier. When you aren't pumping synthetic hormones into your body, it's amazing how much better you feel.

What's even better is: the flow was normal,  consistent, and lasted about 5 days.
The only symptoms I experienced was PMS and some bloating...
After being without a natural period for so long, I had forgotten what those symptoms felt like!
I had never had bad cramps or symptoms before, so none of those symptoms were unbearable. Thank you Jesus.

So, go ahead and laugh. I'm still celebrating my happy hormones :)

What the heck...

One of my favorite movie scenes (don't judge, it's not that insightful, at all actually)

Risky Business, starring Tom Cruise, 1983

Miles: Sometimes you gotta say "What the F!*%", make your move. Joel, every now and then, saying "What the F!*%", brings freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future. So your parents are going out of town. You got the place all to yourself.
Joel Goodson: Yeah.
Miles: What the f!*%.

Ain't it the truth?!

I am a chronic worrier. I joke about this to many friends and family. And sadly, more people than I'd like to list can relate. Our society is a stressful, fast-paced one. More stress = more anxiety. Anxiety is caused when our natural, neurological tranquilizers are suppressed by stress. When my doctor diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I knew the cause was three-fold: Genetics, Upbringing, and Stress. That said, it is never a surprise when I find myself anxious particularly during a new, stress-filled season in life.Yes, it does bother me when people act like this is my fault. It certainly is not, as I have studied anxiety more. And as much as I wish it would go away with a simple and assertive "Just STOP IT!" That doesn't help much either. It's all about baby steps in the right direction. Baby steps to freedom.

What does Joel say to Miles? Sometimes you just gotta give it up. Surrender! There, with your white flag raised high, you will find true freedom. Thankfully, my anxiety has subsided significantly the last two weeks. Through the darkest of seasons, God always reminds me why I need to be in his Word. It fills and refreshes my soul. Dark times also lead me into ferocious prayer. Really, I mean ferocious. The kind that brings you to your knees... to tears. The kind that surrenders all and says whole-heartedly, "Thy will be done." True freedom right there.

So this week, I've been learning to say "What the Heck!" (No F-bombs droppin from this girl's mouth... at least not in front of anyone! :))

Here goes some recent "what the hecks":

- Oh no, I totally just ate that whole Panera cookie... I was being so good today! Oh but it was so good... what the heck!
- *Makes bad joke* Nobody laughs... Sheesh, how could I be so stupid?! Ugh, everyone thinks I'm so weird.... *giggles at my own joke*.... what the heck!
- Wow, she died of heart failure?! Oh gosh... I'm starting to feel sick. My heart! Woah... that didn't feel normal at all..... You know what.... God's had my days numbered even before I was born. What the heck!
- *gets home from work and the house is a mess* Ahh! What has happened in here?! I need to get all of this back together right now! But... I'm hungry. What the heck, it can wait.
- Hmmm my butt looks big in these pants... Oh geez! It is HUGE! Eric look at my butt!
  Eric: "Hmmm looks the same to me! Your butt isn't huge. Nicki Minaj... now she's got a HUGE butt!" True.... what the heck!
- Holy cow.. look at her biceps! I want arms like that. Who am I kidding... I am too weak! I can't even do a pull up because my arms are so small. Maybe I should just skip arm day... it's doing no good anyway...... NO... What am I doing to myself? What the heck... here we go... arm workout #100
- *wakes up in middle of night stressed out* *writes mental note of tomorrow's, I mean today's todo list*  Ah! What the heck... it can wait.
- Woah! Now that was just plain rude... Why am I targetted like this?.... Ha! Oh yeah, I don't care! What the heck!


When you build your house upon the rock, it cannot be shaken. That is my goal everyday. Saying, "What the heck!" to the stresses of life, the mean and crazy people, and the vivid imagination I have, and handing it over to the one whose ways and thoughts are higher than mine.

Blessings!

xoxo, The Law Student's wife.

Why believers shouldn't be surprised when people are offended...

We are called to suffer for Christ. It saddens me when Christians shy away from sharing the gospel, and therefore suffering, because they would rather live comfortably by pleasing man rather than God. I am very guilty of this. There are many times I would rather someone like me than know that I am a Christian. But I know that by doing this, I am not doing what I am called to do. 

Now, hear me out, I am all about being respectful and kind… God calls us to love… even those who do not believe! But when we make even tiny adjustments to the gospel to avoid the possibility of others getting offended, we are committing an injustice to them by not telling them the truth that saves… Any plus or minus to the gospel results in no gospel at all: 

“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.” Galatians 1:6-7

Yes, it sucks to be persecuted, particularly when all you want to do is please the Lord. In fact, many times I find that others will get offended even when I say nothing at all! All I have to say is that I am a Christian and BOOM someone is offended. You can be sweet as pie while sharing the gospel and people will find it invasive and rude regardless. Why? I firmly believe that the gospel, in many ways, is naturally offensive to unbelievers.

 1) It says that we are more sinful than we could ever imagine.

 

The first time I came to understand this, I felt helpless. This truth, if understood, can bring one to their knees in shame and guilt. For others this truth instantly results in defensiveness. “Who are you to say I am a sinner? Who are you to say what is right and wrong? Let me live how I want to live.” It is a shot to the ego for many because most people build their lives around the belief that they are basically a “good person” and do not need any of the Jesus “crap”. Regardless, it is necessary to understand our true nature, the BAD news, before truly understanding the GOOD news.

2) Therefore, there is nothing YOU can do to earn God’s favor. 

This truth was revolutionary to me… particularly because I always felt like God worked this way: You work hard at making good choices in life and, if you are basically a “good” person, you go to heaven. FALSE.

For many people, this truth is offensive. In our “work hard, earn everything” world, people generally do not like being told that they cannot take credit for something. Once again, it hurts their pride. For me and for many Christians, it is disarming. I was offended at first because I felt like all the hard work of being a “good” person MUST count for something right?! No, actually before I put my faith in Christ, I was doing everything in vain and never giving out of gratitude to God. Even if I happily did something good for someone else, I would usually applaud myself afterward thinking, “Wow, I am SUCH a good person.” This led to a self-righteousness that looked down upon others. It also produced pride in my own justification. I didn’t need Jesus to pay for my sins, I could earn his love with my works and he would owe me! It led to a sense of entitlement. 

The truth is, however, I was exhausted. I had been chasing after this invisible moral standard my whole life. “When will I know if I am good enough?”  I would think. “Is there a level of ‘goodness’ that I can graduate to in order to rest assured that I am going to heaven and that God loves me?” And when I would fail or mess up, it felt like the end of the world. Tremendous shame would overcome me. Once I understood that because of my very nature I was unable to attain the favor of God through works, I felt helpless… but then God led me to the most important point… 

3) You don’t have to earn favor with God because Jesus did it for you. 

What?! You’re saying that because I am helpless and unable to earn my place in God’s kingdom, he sent his Son to die in my place and receive the punishment for MY sins? Yes. Beautiful isn’t it?

Many do not think so. I have often wrestled with why anyone would find this part offensive but I get it now.

The fact that Jesus had to endure such pain, persecution, and the fullness of God’s wrath to pay for our sins implies that our sin is much more serious and much bigger than we could ever fathom (point 1). Once again, people do not like to hear anyone tell them that they actually do need a savior. Because if they need a savior, it means they are not good enough by themselves. A shot at the ego once again.

“Christianity is a crutch for the weak.” They’ll say… Sure, what they don’t understand is how weak we ALL are.

4) Jesus literally covers us in his righteousness. 

When we trust in Christ, we are made new. Out with the old and in with the new. The Father now sees us as he sees his holy and perfect Son Jesus: with delight and total favor. We become his children.

Timothy Keller explains it perfectly:

“Jesus’ salvation is not only like receiving a pardon and release from death row and prison. Then we’d be free, but on our own, left to make our own way in the world, thrown back on our own efforts if we’re to make anything of ourselves. But in the gospel, we discover that Jesus has taken us off death row and then has hung around our neck the Congressional Medal of Honor. We are received and welcomed as heroes, as if we had accomplished extraordinary deeds.”

― Timothy Keller, Romans 1-7 For You: For reading, for feeding, for leading

5) True freedom can only be found in Christ

How could we NOT respond to the gospel with a desire to please the Lord? 

Justification and his righteousness should lead us to live righteously. Not to earn God’s favor or a place in heaven (remember we can’t do that), but rather to please God out of a heart of gratitude. Thankfulness should drive us to live holy lives. This process of growing into the likeness of Jesus is called sanctification. This is important because real, true, saving faith always results in a changed life. It always results in good works. As Christians, we may not be sinless on this side of the grave, but we sin less. 

We can now be free from the chains of sin and freely express our love for the Lord without fear of punishment when we fail. We are fully accepted when we trust in Christ’s sacrifice for our sins. It’s about what he DID, not what WE do… this is totally humbling and beautiful and it drives us to love him more.

“I don’t want to be a Christian because I want to truly be free” 

The problem with this statement is that it simply isn’t true. When we are apart from God in Christ, we are slaves to sin. We were created to worship. Therefore, if we are not worshiping God, we are worshiping something else (money, the affirmation of others, success, etc.) None of these things will ever satisfy. Therefore it results in an endless battle. Jesus tells us that, because of the cross, we are already accepted by the one whose opinion matters most. When we understand this, we are no longer slaves to ourselves or our sin but we are free in the Lord.

My overall point is: We should not be surprised when others are offended by Christianity. 

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.  If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.” 1 Peter 4: 12-14

The Bible tells us that it is not unusual for people to hate us for our faith:

All Christians, having placed their faith in the Messiah, have had to endure persecution at the hands of sinful men. 

The gospel is described as, “A stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense.” 1 Peter 2:8

 “Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you…” 1 John 3:13

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” John 15:18-19

We should be reminded that it is often a good sign when one is offended… it means their assurances and beliefs have been challenged to the core and even disrupted. It means a seed has been planted. We must remember that it is a miracle ANY of us are saved since none of us can take credit for our salvation. No one is too far from the grace of God.

Lastly, we are given encouragement. Soak it in brothers and sisters:

“But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled” 1 Peter 3:14

Jesus gives us every reason to stand firm in our faith. Christians have a living hope that assures them that they are God’s people. Because we are God’s people we are able to stand firm during persecution and trial.

A snippet from Ligonier’s website regarding 1 Peter: 

“If the Lord of the universe suffered before being exalted, then those who are united to Him by faith will have to suffer as well (2:21–25). But make no mistake, the suffering that is our calling is the suffering that comes for confessing Jesus (4:14–16). Though God can be honored when we acknowledge the justice of the earthly consequences for our sin, let us never endeavor to suffer as evildoers (4:15). Rather, let us follow Christ so that in the trials that result we will fulfill the call to suffer just as He did (2:19–21; 3:8–17; 4:12–19).”

I hope this was encouraging and eye-opening for believers. Remember, He has overcome the world. Do not be afraid of them. We can be put to death and still lose nothing because he has conquered death itself. Those who stand firm in their faith, entrusting themselves to God, are promised one day to be vindicated by the Father. Now go forth and share the good news without fear!

Beauty

Beauty

Is there any practical function of it?

Perhaps not to the unbeliever. 

Yes, anyone can "enjoy" beauty.

 

en·joy

inˈjoi,enˈjoi/

verb

To take delight or pleasure in.

But, really. Is there any other function?

For me, and many other believers, it points to a greater reality. 

It is but a glimpse into eternity.

C.S. Lewis says,

“We do not want merely to see beauty... we want something else which can hardly be put into words- to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it. That is why we have peopled air and earth and water with gods and goddesses, and nymphs and elves.” 

Isn't it true? I mean, when I see beauty, you know... the breathtaking kind. Be it the Oklahoma sky, a mountain range, a wheat field dancing with the wind, or even the uniqueness and softness of a beautiful woman's face... I love to admire it and be captivated by it although it does nothing "essential" for me. 

Many would say that admiring beauty is not necessary for survival. Indeed, if you have food, water, shelter and clothes, you will do just fine. Perhaps. 

But I consider it a privilege and even a necessary ingredient to living fully. Beauty gives me hope and anticipation for when I am finally glorified in Christ. It tells me that the ugliness of this world will one day be overcome by goodness. 

Beauty comes in to an ugly space. It intervenes. Ugliness is the absence of beauty.

Isn't that what God does?

He comes IN to our lives. We don't go out and stumble upon him casually. 

He makes us beautiful and tells us one day, all things will be reconciled in His Son.

For now, we get glimpses of the future.

Here are some breathtaking glimpses from this morning:

Enjoy beauty today, and may it roll up into praise to our Father.

Fall, health stuff, and maybe some TMI

Oh, Oklahoma... Thank you for bringing in Fall weather... I hear you will get drastically colder this month,  that your leaves will change colors, and that there will likely be a lot of rain and even snow this year. Please, may it be so. It would be the warmest, perhaps coldest, welcome to me and you would have my heart for always!

The past couple of weeks have been pretty good. We are finally finding a rhythm in this new chapter of our lives. I am settling in at work and Eric at school. Last week was unusually busy for him because he is joining several clubs, networking, and getting involved in the law school, all while studying 24/7!  So proud of my man. That's really what he is... a man. I can only strive to be the best woman for him! 

Updates in my life: I am making some major changes for my health!

This is sort of a delayed update but...

First, I am DONE with birth control pills.. at least for now.

Don't worry, I will not be lecturing you for taking them if you do. They were a great contraceptive for me and I have no guilt or moral issues with them. If you've read my eating disorder story, you know that my doctor put me on the pill about 2.5 years ago because I wasn't getting my period (amenorrhea due to overexercising and under-eating). 

That said, it's been almost 4 years since I've gotten a real, natural period. (Sorry if that's TMI for some of you) 

The reasons I got off the pill are:

1) I want to regulate my hormones naturally and get my period back without pumping synthetic hormones into my body.

2) The pill gave me serious migraines... I had never had one headache in my life before the pill.

3) There's something in me that wants to know I can have a normal cycle without the intervention of contraceptives. Maybe that's silly, but I just need to do this. (perhaps this point is only repeating point one... you get the picture)

I've been off of the pill for about a month now. Still no period... but I have to be patient. Most women do not get theirs back for a few months after getting off the pill.. it may just take me longer. 

Trust me, this is something I thought about doing many times. I was just REALLY scared to do it. But here I am, synthetic hormone-free and I feel really great. The only issue has been breast stinging sensations (don't google that, I already did and was convinced I had Breast Cancer) and also a UTI which apparently can be caused by a sudden drop in estrogen levels. Never had a UTI in my adult life EVER and boy do they suck... Had to do a whole round of horrible antibiotics. (TMI again?)

My biggest fear in all of this is my acne returning with a vengeance. Trust me, my acne was BAD before getting on the pill. That's the one thing I absolutely loved about the pill was how beautiful it made my skin look. Thankfully, a friend of mine is a Rodan & Fields consultant and she hooked me up with the greatest acne treatment. I started using it right after I got off the pill, just to do some damage control and it is working wonders... so far, my skin is looking great! So that's a huge praise.

Also, before family and friends freak out and assume I am doing "natural-family-planning"... Trust me, no way! Condoms it is for now (sorry if that's too much TMI again:)) Just to reassure everyone. I am still trying not to get prego while we're broke okay?

Secondly, I am doing Beachbody's 21-day fix! My old co-worker's wife has convinced me... I mean, she lost 60 pounds doing this fitness & diet program! Crazy!

Her name is Katie and she is my coach now! I am doing it with a bunch of other women. We communicate and motivate each other via a Facebook group. I am loving it so far, although I'm sooo sore. It's only day 2 and I already feel lighter and tighter! Excited to shed and build muscle! 

 I think the fact that I work at a place where the topic of "death" is brought up on the daily has helped me come to understand that many times (definitely not always) people are dying from things that were totally preventable! From lung cancer to heart attacks to liver disease... Many of these people did not take very good care of themselves health-wise (i.e. overweight, high-cholesterol, smokers, heavy drinkers, etc.). This has been a wake-up call to me. I've always been active and health-conscious but I now see the value in doing it beyond just wanting to "look good". :) Woo, that sounded SO vain. ha!

Anyways, those are updates for y'all.  

P.S. Wanna hear a funny story? Today I called the helpdesk at work. I was the only one in the Trust department office at the end of the day and they put me on hold on the phone. Well, an Ed Sheeran song started playing in my ear.. "Thinking Out Loud", Yeah, you know the really adorable one. Well, I started singing along, getting really into it, ya know... and then... he took me off hold. Ha!! I hope he didn't hear me singing in my best sexy Ed Sheeran voice "Baby, we found love right where we are.." :)

xoxox, The Law Student's Wife.

I need to start writing more consistently...

Hi everyone!

I am sure you are waiting for updates, or not... but I figured I'd write a blog post since it's been a while.

Law school has kept Eric pretty busy but he seems to love it! Thankfully, he was well warned before school started. I am so proud of my guy... he really is chasing his passion! I can only pray that God opens doors and provides opportunities for him to fulfill this dream. I know He will provide...

I've been working a lot, as usual. I really love Arvest. I must note, it is NOT  the Walmart bank. The Walton family started Arvest before Walmart and they do not like it when people compare the two. Anyways, I have been learning a lot about Trust (not trusting people, Trust! silly:))... what an interesting aspect of banking! We basically manage millionaires' assets... which is super duper interesting! I have the freedom and ability to read and review hundred of Wills, Death Certificates, Trust Agreements, Trust Accounts, etc... it's all so interesting. But we do talk about death a lot, which is quite depressing, especially for a hypochondriac like me. Although, I can tell you that while looking over 50 different death certificates, the most common age I saw was death at 94 by heart failure. Interesting!

We've been getting some cool storms here and there which is super exciting for me! Okies think I am soooo silly when I rave about them but they need to understand that if they moved here from a place where it maybe sprinkled twice a year, they would react the same way :) It rained this morning! As I type, it is pouring outside and it's chilly! :) Fall is here.

Here's a photo an OKC photographer took of the storm the other day... (you know, the one that I freaked about)

Told you! Pretty big to me... this is the kind of lightening I saw on my way to the gym around 5:30 am.

Eric and I also have been spending more time meeting new people which is awesome. Everyone is so friendly!!

I, of course, am still obsessed with the cute homes and back roads... I will purposefully take back ways to work just to see the sun rise over the wheat fields...

Another thing I've noticed... Everyone here is obsessed with queso... every Mexican restaurant serves chips, salsa, and queso!  It's pretty yummy actually... but definitely not my favorite. When I tell people that queso is not served in ANY Mexican food restaurants (especially authentic) in CA, they are amazed.

Oh, on a totally random note... my hypochondria sky rocketed after my urgent care visit this week... Doc felt my groin lymph nodes and said they don't feel that swollen to him.. maybe I am just weird and can always feel my groin lymph nodes? I heard skinnier people can feel theirs but maybe I'm wrong. Anyways... I asked if it could be cancer and he said: " Wellll, it could be... but you never really know until you get a CT scan. But if you got one of those, you'd be exposed to radiation which would harm your future babies." Ummm.... NOT what I wanted to hear.... I pretty much convinced myself I had cancer and am just now starting to consider the fact that MAYBE I don't! I would love to one day believe what my doc tells me: that I'm healthy! But seriously, I do have an infection so I'm taking another round of antibiotics for that.. ugh I hate antibiotics... but gotta do what you gotta do!

I can't think of anything else to write, so I'll leave my new favorite artist and song below:

xoxo, Chelsey, The Law Student's Wife