Anyways, wedding plans are slowly coming along. Almost 3 months until the big day and, with a lot of help from family, the major stuff is already done. Now it's just the tedious details I need to work on!
I am definitely learning about myself in this whole process. One thing I've noticed is that I am actually quite terrible at being the "Bride-to-be". Many brides envision their wedding day and its details down to the tee. They know the exact dress they want, the exact theme the wedding will be, the colors, the flowers, the cake, the music, etc. They have a planning binder, a budget spreadsheet, and have rehearsed walking down the aisle more times than necessary.
See... that is just not me! I wish it were because it would probably make things easier, but its not. When I went wedding dress shopping, my consultant asked me what kind of dress I had in mind. Of course I sat there with a blank stare and said, "Umm, I really have no idea."
The very first wedding venue we visited was also the last. I decided it was a nice, affordable venue, and we booked it. What's especially funny is when I try to explain to others what my wedding theme will be, it often sounds something like, "Well, I just don't know yet... maybe I'll know the theme on my wedding day!"
You see, my wedding may turn out to be just like me... sporadic and all over the place! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my wedding dress and venue and am happy with all other wedding plans, but I sure have learned a lot about myself in the midst of each decision!
Another thing I have learned in this messy time is how different Eric and I respond to stressful situations. I have probably had 4 crying episodes in the past 3 months... each episode has been about something totally not worth crying about. Eric, on the other hand, has been my rock. He's so calm in every storm, always pointing me back to Christ, and when I cry about silly little things, he offers a reassuring smile and hours of his time to talk me through it.
Yes, it is so cliche and cheesy. And yes, I am young and probably very naive... But when I look at Eric and hear his godly words of reassurance, I am reminded why I am willingly walking through all of this. When I look at him, I am given a testament to God's mighty provision in my life.
No, I certainly do not have a fairy tale view of marriage, nor do I think everything will be "happily-ever-after" once we tie the knot, but I do know it will be worth it. I do know that I will be sanctified, refined, and given a perfect picture of the gospel through the messiness and struggles of marriage. I do know that the stresses I face now are probably minuscule in comparison to the difficulties marriage will bring BUT I also know, above all else, that at the end of my life I will not regret the decision to marry Eric. We are on this journey together, with eternity in mind, two sinners being sanctified through the gift of marriage.
The journey that lies ahead is in God's hands, and I know He is for us. With Christ, we will come out in the end more beautiful than we would have in a perfect and safe life. Oh how good is the Father's love.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18
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