Is blood thicker than water?

"Blood is thicker than water"

This old saying has been used over and over to make a point about blood relatives being #1 in your life. 

I come from a Hispanic background where this is the main mantra. Family members would go so far as to cover up illegal or dangerous behavior for the sake of 'familia'. Stupid, right? Not to them. If you really believe that the unity of blood relatives should precede all others, why not lie for them, steal for them, compromise morals for them?

This is something many Americans deem to be true as well. How dare you cut your parents out or stop talking to your crazy uncle Joe for the protection of your own children? Family forever!

Now, before I get carried away, let me clarify. The Bible does uphold the nuclear family as being VERY important. We are to honor our father and mother and love our children and teach them to fear the Lord. We are to forsake all others, leave our father and mother, and cleave to our spouse. Husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church and wives should submit to husbands. There is bold instruction in regards to certain family dynamics. But there is NOWHERE in scripture, a command to be your blood brother's best friend or bend over backwards for your aunt and uncle in the name of "family". Nope.

What the Bible does say is that we are to love our neighbor. We are to love and keep peace between everyone so long as the ball is in our court. (Romans 12:18) We are also told to love and pray for our enemies. Almost all of us have a family member or two who appear to be an enemy... and therefore, we are called to love and pray for them. So there's that. We are not told to hate our blood relatives. They too are our neighbors. We are to love them!

BUT... Does the Bible uphold blood? Didn't Jesus come to abolish carnal importance? He did, indeed. Before Christ came, the carnal flesh was regarded as very important. Whether you were a Jew or Gentile mattered. Who you descended from mattered. But Christ came and died for us and then it was made clear that, "...there is no difference between Jew and Gentile for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him." (Romans 10:12)

Gill's commentary says,

"For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek.... Some reasons are here assigned, confirming the apostle's sense of the prophet's words, that everyone that believes in Christ shall be saved; for there is no distinction of nations, no superiority on account of carnal descent, or fleshly privileges, no preeminence on the score of the laws and ordinances of the former dispensation, all which are now abolished; nor is there any difference in their state God-ward, all being under sin, and without a righteousness, and all standing in need of the righteousness of Christ, and salvation by him; to which is added another reason."

Jesus tells us that truth will divide. He says we must be prepared for the inevitable division that will occur when family members are offended by his Truth AND we have to be willing to stick to Truth. We have to choose Him over family, always. Matthew 10:34-37 says,

 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn
“‘a man against his father,
    a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

In fact, Jesus himself tells us who we are to regard as family.  Matthew 12: 46-50 says,

While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

We are called to put our church family above extended relatives. The Bible is clear that just because someone is related to us by blood does not make them true family. Eric and I have learned this since moving away from all of our blood relatives. Though we love our blood relatives, we truly have gained family members out here. Our church is filled with those who, because they have love for the Lord, they love and care for us as their own. Blood is not upheld. It is irrelevant. We have brothers and sisters here in Oklahoma and all over the world, for that matter. The Church is our true family. We've been graciously adopted because of the blood of Jesus. That is the only blood that matters. His blood!

I found this excerpt from another blog... her name is Robyn Wilde and I honestly have no idea who she is but this was just too brilliant not to share:

"Everyone I know who protests the point I’m trying to make here is someone from a very close-knit family that understands the way God meant that social unit to operate. If that’s you, then praise God, because He has blessed you in ways that a lot of the world will never understand. I’m not here to rend asunder what God has put together.

But for everyone else— the ones who come from broken homes, the ones who could never confide in their father or brother, the ones who never knew their birth parents, the ones who are alienated from their families: you are not alone. God is “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows…[He] sets the solitary in families” (Psalm 68:5-6.) Before the world was created, He “predestined us to adoption as sons” (Ephesians 1:5,) and “loved [us] with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3.) God knows full well how broken human families are. But He is a perfect Father. And your adopted Brother? He took on mortal flesh just so that He could die to save you. He didn’t just pull some strings from on high, no, He walked willingly to the whip, and the thorns, and the nails, and the spear, and shed His blood to make you a part of His family so that you need never be alone again.

The blood of the covenant made in Christ is by far thicker than the water of the sinful human womb."

xoxo, A Law Student's Wife 

Psalm 73- When I need it most.

Psalm 73English Standard Version (ESV)

Book Three

God Is My Strength and Portion Forever

A Psalm of Asaph.

73 Truly God is good to Israel,
    to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
    my steps had nearly slipped.
3 For I was envious of the arrogant
    when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 For they have no pangs until death;
    their bodies are fat and sleek.
5 They are not in trouble as others are;
    they are not stricken like the rest of mankind.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
    violence covers them as a garment.
7 Their eyes swell out through fatness;
    their hearts overflow with follies.
8 They scoff and speak with malice;
    loftily they threaten oppression.
9 They set their mouths against the heavens,
    and their tongue struts through the earth.
10 Therefore his people turn back to them,
    and find no fault in them.[a]
11 And they say, “How can God know?
    Is there knowledge in the Most High?”
12 Behold, these are the wicked;
    always at ease, they increase in riches.
13 All in vain have I kept my heart clean
    and washed my hands in innocence.
14 For all the day long I have been stricken
    and rebuked every morning.
15 If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
    I would have betrayed the generation of your children.

16 But when I thought how to understand this,
    it seemed to me a wearisome task,
17 until I went into the sanctuary of God;
    then I discerned their end.

18 Truly you set them in slippery places;
    you make them fall to ruin.
19 How they are destroyed in a moment,
    swept away utterly by terrors!
20 Like a dream when one awakes,
    O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.
21 When my soul was embittered,
    when I was pricked in heart,
22 I was brutish and ignorant;
    I was like a beast toward you.

23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
    you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will receive me to glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength[b] of my heart and my portion forever.

27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
    you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
28 But for me it is good to be near God;
    I have made the Lord God my refuge,
    that I may tell of all your works.

A Blessed Thanksgiving

Many who move away from their extended families experience the sorrow of holidays alone. They feel a loneliness when facing Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc, because they've got no family around to celebrate with.

Thanks be to God... this has not been the case with us. I don't mean that Eric and I are socialites... trust me, we're not. I mean that Okies are particularly friendly and hospitable. It's a stereotype for a reason.

Since moving here, every holiday, we've received several invitations to family celebrations. This Thanksgiving, in fact, it was hard for us to choose who to say 'yes' to and whose invitation to decline. Last year we spent Turkey day with several families from church, but this year we decided to spend it with a friend's family out in Calvin, OK.

Eric told me a few weeks ago that his friend, who had gone to law school with Eric last year but is now an attorney, invited us to his family's annual Thanksgiving get-together. We accepted with excitement because this friend of his, Ryan, had invited us to other family functions of his several times before but we'd already committed to spending other occasions with another family so we had to decline. We were excited to finally get to meet his family and spend a day with them.

We were told it would be out in the middle of nowhere-Oklahoma. It was about 2 hours south of Norman in a tiny town called Calvin. Calvin has a population of about 200 people and not one stop sign or stop light.

We were told there would be food and fun and to bring a change of clothes that we were comfortable getting dirty in. Ryan said, "Think... Deliverance" hahaha... If you get the reference, good job. Basically Ryan  prepared us to be fully baptized Okies.

We left around 10:30 am and drove through the beautiful fall foilage to get to our destination. We drove through many tiny towns, tucked away in the hills (Yes, it gets hilly south of us). It was a beautiful drive and we arrived in Calvin around 12:30.

Ryan told us to map quest the Crazy Horse Saloon, which is now called The Office Bar, and that his grandmother's house would be directly next door. When we arrived, we were laughing because the bar was in a tiny trailer. I mean TINY. The town itself was adorable. Very small as we suspected. We met up at Ryan's grandma's house and he took us over to his aunt's house down the road where the food and festivities would begin.

We met all of their relatives and began eating the delicious food. Lemme just insert... fried okra is life. Trust me. Thank me later.

Soon after, we got a tour of the farm which was in the family for many many years. It was originally a peanut farm and they also raised cattle. They still do, to my knowledge.

The farm was huge. Hundreds of acreage if I'd guess. Filled equal amounts of prairies and forests on hilly terrain.

We changed into our play clothes and went over to a corner of the farm where they'd often go shooting. We shot clay pigeons for a while (SO FUN). I got a couple but mostly sucked at it. Also, though I have some experience with guns, shot guns hurt my shoulder and wrist after a while haha. Eric, of course, killed it and hit almost every clay pigeon.

Soon after, we were invited to ride quads and follow a group on a ride around the property. The quads were big enough for two so Eric drove and I sat behind him. I was a "backseat driver" as they call them. It was Eric's first time operating that kind of vehicle, and since I grew up riding quads, I was arrogantly instructing him haha. I finally relaxed after about an hour ;)

They took us all around the property and we experienced almost every type of terrain there was. We climbed up and down big, rocky hills, through forests, across prairies, up to the highest point where we could see miles of Oklahoma. It was all breathtaking.

We saw a lot of wild life but aside from the doe that ran in front of us, we were ecstatic when we saw an armadillo. Sucker was FAST and hilarious to watch. We don't have those in CA so, of course, Eric was thrilled. He wouldn't stop talking about the armadillo.

 

When we got back from our long ride, it was quite cold. We headed back in the house and ate more food since it was dinner time. Time flies when you're having fun. The rest of the night consisted of laughing and talking with Ryan and his wife. They both gave us super helpful and encouraging insight on law school, post-law school, having a family, etc. It was especially wonderful for me to talk to someone who has been a law student's wife like me. She was so encouraging and it was comforting to feel validated in my fears, anxieties, and worries. It was cool to see how everything had worked out for them.

The night only ended because we were worried about Walker being home alone. Oh, have I mentioned Walker on my blog? I don't think so. Anyways, he's our coonhound.

In a nutshell, it was a perfect Thanksgiving. We may have another adopted family. They even invited us back for Christmas. We'll have to flip a coin since we have a few Christmas invitations as well. So blessed.

xoxo, A Law Student's Wife

Old House Dreams

I have an obsession. Old houses.

Yep, I adore them. I am constantly torn between wanting to own one or renovate one in the future, and shying away from that dream because I just don't know if I am proper and elegant enough to live up to the beauty in a Victorian, 1800's home.

Anyways, I have discovered an outlet through which I can live out these old house dreams of mine.
It's called www.oldhousedreams.com and it's freaking awesome.

Here's one that I love. Eric and I have recently dreamed of living farther up north. Not sure if we ever will. It will depend on where he takes the bar exam. But northern Missouri is a place with temperate weather and it ALWAYS has a white Christmas. Anyways, this home is located just north of Kansas City, MO. Look how adorable it is... and affordable! I just don't know if I am fancy enough to live in this life-size doll house! A girl can dream....

From the site:

1888 Second Empire – Plattsburg, MO – $159,900

For Sale $159,900

Beds: 4: Baths: 2.5 Sqft: 3084 Acres: 1.25

Address

501 S Birch Ave, Plattsburg, MO 64477

Historic Second Empire Home, on National Register of Historic Places and featured in Country Living Magazine, is once again looking for new residents. Home was lovingly restored and remodeled 10 years ago with all the conveniences for modern living but vintage character and charm of the time period preserved. Ornate wrap around porch invites guests to stop and sit or beckons them inside through an amazing arched door. Walnut spiral staircase leads to second floor and on up to cupola. Original wood floors and doors.

xoxo, A Law Student's Wife

What do you think of me and why do I care?

Hey you... Reading my blog. Guess what?

...I don't ultimately care what you think of me. It has no weight and no influence upon my true value. :) Praise God for setting us free from the need to please man. Man is futile and sinful. God is perfect and, in His Son, He is well-pleased with me. 

Wise words from the puritan, Richard Baxter...

Directions Against Inordinate Man-pleasing

"Remember what a life of unquietness and continual vexation you choose, if you place your peace or happiness in the good will or word of man. For having showed you how impossible a task you undertake, it must needs follow that the pursuit of it must be a life of torment. To engage yourselves in so great cares, when you are sure to be disappointed; to make that your end, which you cannot attain; to find that you labour in vain, and daily meet with displeasure instead of the favour you expected; must needs be a very grievous life. You are like one that dwelleth on the top of a mountain, and yet cannot endure the wind to blow upon him; or like him that dwelleth in a wood, and yet is afraid of the shaking of a leaf. You dwell among a world of ulcerated, selfish, contradictory, mutable, unpleasable minds, and yet you cannot endure their displeasure. Are you magistrates? The people will murmur at you, and those that are most incompetent and uncapable will be the forwardest to censure you, and think that they could govern much better than you. Those that bear the necessary burdens of the common safety and defence, will say that you oppress them, and the malefactors that are punished, will say you deal unmercifully by them; and those that have a cause never so unjust, will say you wrong them, if it go not on their side. Are you pastors and teachers? You will seem too rough to one, and too smooth to another; yea, too rough to the same man when by reproof or censure you correct his faults, who censureth you as too smooth and a friend to sinners, when you are to deal in the cause of others. No sermon that you preach is like to be pleasing to all your hearers; nor any of your ministerial works. Are you lawyers? The clients that lost their cause, behind your backs will call you unconscionable, and say you betrayed them; and those that prevailed, will call you covetous, and tell how much money you took of them, and how little you did for it: so that it is no wonder that among the vulgar your profession is the matter of their reproach. Are you physicians? You will be accused as guilty of the death of many that die; and as covetous takers of their money whether the patient die or live; for this is the common talk of the vulgar, except with some few with whom your care has much succeeded. Are you tradesmen? Most men that buy of you are so selfish, that except you will beggar yourselves, they will say you deceive them, and deal unconscionably and sell too dear: little do they mind the necessary maintenance of your families, nor care whether you live or gain by your trading; but if you will wrong yourselves to sell them a good penny-worth, they will say you are very honest men: and yet when you are broken, they will accuse you of imprudence, and defrauding your creditors. You must buy dear and sell cheap, and live by the loss, or else displease.



Remember still that the pleasing of God is your business in the world, and that in pleasing him your souls may have safety, rest, and full content, though all the world should be displeased with you. God is enough for you; and his approbation and favour is your portion and reward. How sweet and safe is the life of the sincere and upright ones, that study more to be good than to seem good, and think if God accept them that they have enough! O what a mercy is an upright heart! which renounceth the world, and all therein that stands in competition with his God; and taketh God for his God indeed even for his Lord, his Judge, his Portion, and his All: who in temptation remembereth the eye of God, and in all his duty is provoked and ruled by the will and pleasure of his Judge, and regardeth the eye and thoughts of man, but as he would do the presence of a bird or beast, unless as piety, justice, or charity, require him to have respect to man, in due subordination to God: who when men applaud him as a person of excellent holiness and goodness, is fearful and solicitous lest the all-knowing God should think otherwise of him than his applauders: and under all the censures, reproaches, and slanders of man, yea, (though through temptation good men should thus use him,) can live in peace upon the approbation of his God alone; and can rejoice in his justification by his righteous Judge and gracious Redeemer, though the inconsiderable censures of men condemn him. Verily I cannot apprehend, how any other man but this can live a life of true and solid peace and joy. If God's approbation and favour quiet you not, nothing can rationally quiet you. If the pleasing of him does not satisfy you, though men, though good men, though all men should be displeased with you, I know not how or when you will be satisfied. Yea, if you be above the censures and displeasure of the profane and not also of the godly, (when God will permit them, as Job's wife and friends, to be your trial,) it will not suffice to an even, contented, quiet life. And here consider

The Advantages of Pleasing God Rather than Men

1. If you seek first to please God and are satisfied therein, you have but one to please instead of multitudes; and a multitude of masters are hardlier pleased than one.


2. And it is one that putteth upon you nothing that is unreasonable, for quantity or quality.


3. And one that is perfectly wise and good, not liable to misunderstand your case and actions.


4. And one that is most holy, and is not pleased in iniquity or dishonesty.


5. And he is one that is impartial and most just, and is no respecter of persons, Acts x. 34.


6. And he is one that is a competent judge, that hath fitness and authority, and is acquainted with your hearts, and every circumstance and reason of your actions.


7. And he is one that perfectly agreeth with himself, and putteth you not upon contradictions or impossibilities.


8. And he is one that is constant and unchangeable; and is not pleased with one thing to-day, and another contrary to-morrow; nor with one person this year, whom he will be weary of the next.


9. And he is one that is merciful, and requireth you not to hurt yourselves to please him: nay, he is pleased with nothing of thine but that which tendeth to thy happiness, and displeased with nothing but that which hurts thyself or others, as a father that is displeased with his children when they defile or hurt themselves.


10. He is gentle, though just, in his censures of thee; judging truly, but not with unjust rigour, nor making your actions worse than they are.


11. He is one that is not subject to the passions of men, which blind their minds, and carry them to injustice.


12. He is one that will not be moved by tale-bearers, whisperers, or false accusers, nor can be perverted by any misinformation.

The Benefits of Seeking to Please God

Consider also the benefits of taking up with the pleasing of God. 1. The pleasing of him is your happiness itself; the matter of pure, and full, and constant comfort, which you may have continually at hand, and no man can take from you. Get this and you have the end of man; nothing can be added to it, but the perfection of the same, which is heaven itself.


2. What abundance of disappointments and vexations will you escape, which tear the very hearts of man-pleasers, and fill their lives with unprofitable sorrows!


3. It will guide and order your cares, and desires, and thoughts, and labours to their right and proper end, and prevent the perverting of them, and spending them in sin and vanity on the creature.


4. It will make your lives not only to be divine but this divine life to be sweet and easy, while you set light by human censures which would create you prejudice and difficulties. When others glory in wit, and wealth, and strength, you would glory in this, that you know the Lord, Jer. ix. 23, 24.


5. As God is above man, thy heart and life is highly ennobled by having so much respect to God, and rejecting inordinate respect to man: this is indeed to walk with God.


6. The sum of all graces is contained in this sincere desire to please thy God, and contentedness in this so far as thou findest it attained. Here is faith, and humility, and love, and, holy desire, and trust and the fear of God joined together. You "sanctify the Lord of hosts himself, and make him your fear, and dread, and sanctuary," Isa. viii. 13, 14.






7. If human approbation be good for you and worth your having, this is the best way to it; for God hath the disposal of it. "If a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him," Prov. xvi. 7. God does this by appeasing their wrath, or restraining them from intended evil, or doing us good by that which they intend for hurt.

Signs of Living to Please God

See therefore that you live upon God's approval as that which you chiefly seek, and will suffice you: which you may discover by these signs.




1. You will be most careful to understand the Scripture, to know what doth please and displease God.


2. You will be more careful in the doing of every duty, to fit it to the pleasing of God than men.


3. You will look to your hearts, and not only to your actions; to your ends, and thoughts, and the inward manner and degree.


4. You will look to secret duties as well as public and to that which men see not, as well as unto that which they see.


5. You will reverence your consciences, and have much to do with them, and will not slight them: when they tell you of God's displeasure, it will disquiet you; when they tell you of his approval, it will comfort you.


6. Your pleasing men will be charitable for their good, and pious in order to the pleasing of God, and not proud and ambitious for your honour with them, nor impious against the pleasing of God.


7. Whether men be pleased or displeased, or how they judge of you, or what they call you, will seem a small matter to you, as their own interest, in comparison to God's judgment. You live not on them. You can bear their displeasure, censures, and reproaches, if God be but pleased. These will be your evidences.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 

xoxo, A Law Student's Wife.