Boundaries...

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness..." Psalm 30:11

I am a sensitive person. For years I was ashamed of this. I was told by many to "grow thicker skin" and to "be tough". Many times I've tried to summon up enough callous to not feel as I do. I am a feeler and I feel pain deeply, feel joy deeply, feel love deeply. As I grow older, I am convinced that this is how God designed many of us. In many ways, it is good to feel deeply. We read in scripture that even Jesus wept.

"Christianity is a crutch for the weak". I believe this is statement is 100% true. I also believe all of us are 100% weak and in need of a savior. Those who don't believe they are in need of a savior are lying to themselves and "supress the truth" (Romans 1:18). To suppress the truth is to inherently know what is true deep down, but to push it away as a means of ignoring it... not wanting to face it as truth.

We are all weak and we all have emotions. We are all breakable. I am breakable. So it should not be a surprise to me when I respond to bullying or persecution with heavy emotions of sadness. I am convinced it is the Holy Spirit grieving within me. God hates when his children are mocked for their faith.

As a Christian, I am warned that I will be persecuted. I am called to endure that persecution. At the same time, I am called to shake off the dust from my feet and leave those who respond to my faith with persistent negativity (Matthew 10:14).

“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." Matthew 7:6

There does come a point in certain relationships where boundaries are necessary. When asking for advice on a certain situation, a friend recently told me, "To be honest, boundaries are an important thing. Christians always have a self-conflict about them because it may seem like boundaries are unloving, when in reality, they can be a very loving response." 

By walking away from individuals who consistently and intentionally hurt me, I am fleeing from the possibility of sinning against them. I would rather set up boundaries with this person than lose my cool and sin by growing in bitterness. I can best love them from a distance and through prayer. In the same way, I am not called to be a door mat... Proverbs tells me not to answer someone in their folly. If I am bullied, I must not respond by laying there helpless. I must walk away. I am not told to sit there and let them bully me. 

Many times in scripture, Jesus walked away from those who ridiculed or rebuked him. We must do the same. Another woman offered helpful advice to me, "We can love and pray for someone without allowing them to be an active part of our lives. Boundaries are often falsely portrayed as hateful, yet sometimes defining a line is the most loving thing we can do for some people. Allowing a toxic person into your psyche repeatedly will ultimately only damage the both of you. The best thing we can do is draw the line in a place that allows the safe enough distance for you to continue interceding with God on their behalf with sincerity and not bitterness." Couldn't have said it better myself. 

This morning I went on a long walk and listened to the Psalms. I felt so at peace and my heart was made glad. God truly turned my mourning into gladness. He is good and faithful to ensure that-- 
"When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident." Psalm 27:1-3