A Law Student's Wife: Oklahoma!

OOOklahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plains...

Wow, I cannot believe it's been one year since we left everything we knew and moved to Oklahoma!

I'm going to lay out several reasons why moving to Oklahoma was one of the best decisions we made. Now before anyone gets offended, let me also say that we could probably just as easily compile a list to defend the decision to NOT move away. But, the beautiful thing about the Christian walk is that God often times gives us the freedom to choose among several "good" decisions. This was where God led us, and this is why we are glad and wouldn't change a thing.

1) Leaving and Cleaving

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31

This simple command can be so hard to do... especially when we marry young have been totally dependent on our parents all our lives. There are different implications to this command. First, we are to cleave to our spouse by becoming one flesh with them in the marriage covenant. But also, in a very real sense, it means that, so long as we can help it, we should avoid being dependent on our parents.

“But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”1 Thessalonians 4:10-12

Moving thousands of miles away certainly facilitates leaving and cleaving, but it doesn’t guarantee it, just as staying in town doesn’t prevent it. However, when a couple marries, they must leave their own families to form their own, independent family. When this does not occur, the formation of a new family is stunted. Consequently, it cannot be as strong and fruitful as it should because it is still depending on others for things that it should be producing itself.

With Eric in law school, this was obviously a concern. We wanted to be as independent as possible on the little amount of money we have, and while we are so very thankful for the grace and help we've received from parents and loved ones, living far away has helped us grow a lot in the area of independence.

Being in a foreign place has helped us become our own nuclear family, encouraged us to start new traditions, learn how to do things on our own, and be intentional in getting involved in community. It really has been such a blessing in this way, even though we do miss our family and we still have to FaceTime my dad to learn how to do things around the house! lol

I also want to say that I am SO thankful that we have such wonderful parents and grandparents who have helped to give us wings so that we could safely and happily leave the nest :)

2) Living out our God-given roles as husband and wife.

Spinning off of the first point, moving away has been helpful for each of us to rely on the other and live out our roles as husband and wife without interference. When we moved here, we knew NOBODY. We had no blood relatives here and we didn't have close friends here. But we trusted that the Lord would provide and Ohhh, how He did provide!

Being away has pushed us to really grow in our roles as husband and wife. I am called to be my husband's helper and encourager. I am also called to be the keeper of our home. Moving away from all we ever knew challenged me in this area. In a very real sense, it felt like we were on our own, left to fend for ourselves. We knew that, in order for us to flourish, we had to really work on keeping our marriage bond strong and we knew that we could only succeed in this by doing what God calls each of us to do-- Eric to lead us, protect, and provide.. and me to be the helper, encourager, keeper of the home.

We are still continuously growing in this area. Eric is now able to work (which we are SO thankful for) as he pursues his dreams of being a lawyer where he will prayerfully be able to be a bigger provider. He leads me spiritually as we spend time together in the Word and in prayer. I've truly seen him grow so much in this area. I have had to help in any way I can, working outside the home, even in jobs I am not fond of, all while maintaining our home and making it a "haven" for us and encouraging my husband and lifting him up in prayer. Being away has really spurred on this growth in each of us, and for that, I am truly thankful.

3) Exploring a new, unfamiliar place!

Exploring Oklahoma has been so fun. The culture here is vastly different from culture in California so we've had a lot of "Whoa! that's different!" moments. The people here are so kind and hospitable. Living in the Bible Belt means we often feel less like black sheep like we were in California, however even conservative Oklahoma really needs the gospel... lots of nominal "Christians" need Jesus here. Regardless, I definitely will feel more comfortable raising my children here and it does happen to be the best state to homeschool with the largest homeschool community (yay!). In many ways, I would call this state "family friendly". Which is HUGE for us...

Native American culture is so rich here. Took me a while to be able to pronounce a lot of places and street names. That's extremely new for both of us. I also love the wild west aspect of a lot of places. The National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum is an example of one place we love to go to learn about our state's heritage!

Rural America is truly the hidden jewel of our country. I've always said I could really be happy anywhere but it hasn't been hard loving Oklahoma and its beauty. That water-color painted sky and those prairie grasslands are truly breathtaking. There is more sky here in central Oklahoma, but only an hour east and it's a whole new world. The hills and forests make you feel like you're in a different state. Oh, and it is so green in the Spring and Summer.

Oklahoma has a special kind of beauty. According to Travel OK, "Mile for mile, Oklahoma offers the nation’s most diverse terrain. It’s one of only four states with more than 10 ecoregions, and has by far, the most per mile in America according to the EPA. Oklahoma’s ecoregions – or, terrains/subclimates – include everything from Rocky Mountain foothills to cypress swamps, tallgrass prairies, and hardwood forests to pine-covered mountains. Each is graced with wide blue lakes, rivers and streams." Pretty cool!

Oh and the adorable homes here. I love the small town feel that is maintained even when you visit the heart of growing Oklahoma City. Norman is especially adorable though. It is a college town so it's booming in the Fall and Spring but we don't mind it and we love that school spirit "Boomer!" ;) . Still in the middle of Fall, it is not nearly as crowded as what we are used to. When people here say "traffic", we usually chuckle...

The accent! It's a slight and subtle southern accent but I love it (unless you drive out to the middle of nowhere and then it's like a new language, lol). I swear I learn a new phrase every day: "fixin' ta", "do what?" "preciate it!" "I have an idear!" "Buggy" "Bless yer heart!" "Supper" "Y'all" ... I could go on...

From the fried chicken to the sweet tea, the football, and the local farmers, the country music... It's all so different than what we were used to but we love it.

4) The PRICES!

This is one of my favorite things about this place. It is so affordable to live here. We only pay $725/mo for a 1200 sqft house with two bedrooms, central AC, a washer and dryer, and a yard. That is unheard of.

Gas prices, groceries, housing, land... everything is so much cheaper.

Our dream is to own a ranch style home on five acres, chickens, and goats one day where we can raise lots of kids! Whatever the Lord wills, I will be content :) But I do love to dream.

5) Seasons- new weather

Oklahoma definitely has weather. I mean the National Weather Service is here!

We were well-warned by many folks before moving here. "It's hot! There are tornadoes! Ew, Oklahoma?? I'm so sorry for you." The ironic part is everyone who warned us or grumbled had never actually been here before. (eye roll) ;)

Y'all... I love the weather. Really, I do. Nothing has been too big of an adjustment. We have a few weeks of hot weather in the summer but it's no big deal to me. The mosquitoes and humidity are not bad at all compared to the deep south and other parts of the midwest. Fall is gorgeous. The foliage and the colors... Ahhh, I love it all. The winter is MILD (Eric agrees since he's from Minnesota lol). We get enough snow to enjoy but not too much. We had a few ice storms this year which were not nearly as bad as we anticipated, and they're actually quite beautiful in my opinion.

Spring is gorgeous... it's sooo green here from all the rain. And those thunderstorms!! ahhh! Y'all know I LOVE THEM. Nothing like house-shaking, big-booming thunder and white lightening that lights up the sky. We sit by the window and gaze at the wondrous power of God.

Just the fact that water actually falls from the sky makes this place appealing to me!

We survived tornado season. There was one day where we had to go to a friend's house in case we needed to take shelter... that was funny. They laughed at me, overreacting about the storm. It passed very quickly and that was the end of all that fuss. While they should never be underestimated, tornadoes are DEFINITELY talked up too much.

All that to say, the weather has been one of the biggest "new" things for us and we have really enjoyed it. It's like we get to know a new Oklahoma every few months.

6) Our church

We really love our church. It's been so wonderful and we have family away from family.
Every holiday we have had somewhere to go, we've had people rallying around us in prayer and support during rough times, we have been welcomed into homes, loved on, and fed. Our pastor is awesome and we get gospel-centered preaching every Sunday. It's truly astonishing. I am always praising God for our church. What a gift it has been.

When we look back, we remember the stress we had when deciding on whether to go to law school or not. We knew in our hearts that wherever Eric studied law and took the bar exam, is where we would *most likely* end up for the rest of our lives. We knew that accepting the opportunity to go to University of Oklahoma would very likely mean never living in California again. This was a BIG decision.

But I cannot stress enough... we are so blessed. God has been so faithful and, the longer we are here, the more confident we are about the decision we made to move here. Actually, the longer we are here, the more we are able to look back and say "God's hand was on all of it". Based on our experience thus far, we have absolutely no problem being rooted here long term. Proud to be an Okie girl!